Still One Story: Choosing Each Other in the Middle of the Mess

When we first got married, I already had a daughter who was 12. Overnight, my husband went from being "Mr. Phillip" to "Papi" without any previous experience as a dad. That shift alone came with all the pressure and adjustment you could imagine.

Then we found out I was pregnant not long after we said "I do."

We didn’t give ourselves space to grow as a couple before our family grew. We both had strong personalities, strong opinions, and weak communication skills. We loved each other, but we didn’t always know how to listen to each other. It took years of bumping heads, going to therapy (separately and together), and inviting God back into the center of our relationship to rebuild a solid foundation.

Through counseling, I had to confront the truth: many of my frustrations came from things I had not said out loud. Expectations I never voiced. Feelings I never shared. It was easier to blame my husband than it was to admit that I wasn’t communicating my needs or taking care of myself emotionally.

But we stayed. We fought. We kept choosing each other.

Almost 25 years later, we’re still choosing. Because we know now that we’re not the same people we were two decades ago. And that’s okay. We’re growing and learning each other again, on purpose.

If you’re in the middle of the mess, I want you to know you’re not alone. You are not the only one asking hard questions or working through old disappointments. And yes, healing is possible.

You are still one story. Still worth the work. And still seen by a God who doesn’t give up on people.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." —Ecclesiastes 4:12